moving can be a good thing

Well, I'm almost completely packed for my move on July 1, 2009. I'm quite pleased; things went surprisingly well yesterday as far as putting things in boxes and bags and whatnot, thanks to two super-duper helpers, one of whom I'd only met on Friday night!! Strange. Last move too, I had the assistance of a great drummer, who I'd only met once before, maybe. I think I may have met him THAT day! Perhaps I'm becoming one of those Devereaux-types, always depending on the kindness of strangers. Lemme tell ya, I LIKE that kind of kindness!!

So tonight. I have yet to pack my kitchenery, there's a bookshelf or two to finish up, and I need to pack up the technology. Drag up a shelf from the basement, drag some shelves downstairs from my rooms, some houseplants and then blammo!! A few things from the bathroom and I'm done. Just need to pack all that shit in my friend's SUV. Yay for friends with SUVs! Never thought I'd say that!

All that said, this might be one of my most well-organized moves in history!!

AND...let me just remind y'all that I am triumphant - I've stayed at Fawcett longer than a year, almost two years!! longest stay in my adult history - I did well and I suppose it's just now time to go. I've taken steps and found good opportunity to move into a great housing arrangement. Not to say that the arrangement I'm leaving hasn't been totally awesome...if it weren't awesome I wouldn't have stayed for almost two years.

I think it's just time to grow up - I'm turning 30 in exactly six months and I just really need to solidify my life style and my living style - I can't depend on the company of others so much to define me, I think.

So now, the things I think need to make me happy:

- couch
- comfy chair/loveseat
- end tables
- floor pillows
- bean bag chairs
- throw rugs
- cylindrical lampshade to replace the one I tore up 7 years ago
- funky butt-ugly lamps (with non-wicker shades)
- cutlery
- serving utensils
- stainless steel measuring cups and spoons
- bakeware: muffin tins, cookie sheets, cake pans, loaf pans, etc.
- casserole dish with cover
- kitchen linens
- knife set
- kitchen table and chairs
- cutting block
- toaster oven
- electric kettle
- coffee grinder
- microwave?

So I've been plagued by anxiety this past week something fierce but it's been coming and going for almost a year now.

And not your garden-variety "anxious feelings". I'm talking physical panic attacks, "episodes" where it feels as though there's an armour-clad black knight shoving his prong into my spine between my shoulder blades. That talk is true, about anxiety and how it feels as though there are iron bands growing out of one's ribs; it's also true that there seems to be some evil demon who can tighten the screws on the iron bands, thus making it nigh impossible and certainly extremely painful to draw a decent breath.

I'm taking steps to deal with this issue but it looks like a long climb and I'm only starting in earnest. In the meantime, I'm just going to move house and try to pay my bills on time, enjoy life with a new sweetheart and eat nutritious vegetables on a regular basis.

Thanks to my mate penny lane for reminding me of this nugget:

Fearless
You say the hill's too steep to climb
Climb it.
You say you'd like to see me try
Climbing.

You pick the place and I'll choose the time
And I'll climb
That hill in my own way.
Just wait a while for the right day.
And as I rise above the tree lines and the clouds
I look down, hearing the sound of the things you've said today.

Fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd
Smiling.
Merciless the magistrate turns 'round
Frowning.

And who's the fool who wears the crown?
No Doubt,
in your own way
And every day is the right day
And as you rise above the fear-lines in his brow
You look down, hearing the sound of the faces in the crowd.